THE DATING REVOLUTION
It is not just impressive but downright alarming how our effort to find a mate has undergone a dating revolution over just the last 50 years. Not to say the last 70 years. Matter of fact is that the greatest change has happened in the last 10 years.
A quick stroll down memory lane. Back in time in the early 1900’s dating required that the man ask permission to date the daughter, get the ok, and then be accompanied by a chaperone. Can you imagine that?
LONG TIME AGO IN THE 20’S
A little later I the 20’s and because the coming off the car; came the beginning of the modern date. In her article on Evie Magazine, Meghan Dillon (1) takes us on a trip down memory lane, and documents how this dating revolution developed. The car and with its mobility surged the possibility of going out to the “speakeasy”; underground bars to have a “prohibited drink” and dance.
Continuing with Meghan’s memory lane, it was until the 50’s that a major change happened. Dating in the 30’s – 40’s was very difficult because of the Depression and the War. It was in the 50’s when teenagers began to date. However, most dating in these times was really in the pursuit of marriage. Dates were usually arranged by the guy, and they were for lunch, dinner or the movies. To go beyond the first couple of dates, the couples started to “go steady”; which meant loyalty and no cheating. A sort of pre-engagement.
THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION
Then came the 60’s and 70’s which gave rise to the sexual revolution and the second wave of feminism. Curiously this movement coincided with the of “The Pill”, to avoid pregnancy. And so began the separation of sex from a marriage commitment. Writer Edmund Lindop, author of “America in the 1960’s”, with the Baby Boomer generation’s changes in attitude toward sex and mores. Edmund’s book is available through “Amazon” and others.
IN THE 70’S IT WAS PERSONAL ADS
Tamara Rahoumi tells us in her article published in stacker.com (2); how to get a date, people resorted to placing ads in magazines and newspapers. People’s desire to get hooked up had changed dramatically so they devised new ways of getting noticed. Magazines like Single News in New York, and Singles News Register on the West Coast featured advertising for love-seeking men and women. While women stressed their physical attributes, men focused on their financial security or occupation. In fact, ads placed at the time, reflected gender norms for the period. So it was that the dating Revolution had once more evolved.
In the 70’s, that women’s roles were changing faster as they were being driven by feminist movements. Women began more on education and building their careers separate from men. This led to women changing priorities to casual dating and relationships that were not necessarily in search of marriage. Objectives has changed.
ONLINE DATING BEGAN IN THE 70’S
In 1965 a pair of Harvard students (Jeff Tarr and Vaughan Morril) created the first computer-based match making service in the US (3). They called it Operation Match. At Harvard one met girls at an “intercollegiate mixer” by paying a fee, which was an event held in the basketball court. DJ’s played records inside and maybe sometimes a live band. Girls from all over would come to these “mixers”.
Tarr and Morril did not find the event had a favorable environment to meet a match. They wanted a better way to “fix up” people. So Tarr and Morill created the very first computer based matching service in the United States.
THE PAST 10 YEARS
Bringing us closer to the present, Boris Cumbo published an article in “thefrisky.com (4); to bring us to the point which for most of us is today just normal, but in reality, has been normal only a shot while.
Technology has become an integral part of life, to make all things easier. In the arena of this article, dating is an area most impacted by technology, by making people more available. It is difficult to plot the rate of change that Technology has brought about, but the changes are evident.
When it comes to making oneself visible, social networks are getting the job done perfectly. The number of users of social networks is so high, that the ones who do not fall into a small percentage that it is sometimes considered a statistical error. It has become common that people begin chatting on social media, and later they set us a date.
Even though this started a little more than 10 years ago, now there are lots of apps. and web sites used for this purpose. This was a game-over for finding a possible date. They provide enough personal data for those interested to begin a conversation with someone that appears to be a possible match.
Online dating not only provides the opportunity to find someone in your city, in your country, but also allows to meet others anywhere in the world. And to do so in minutes.
Today no more “chaperoning”, no more “posting in newspapers or magazines”, no more having to go to “special places to meet someone”. In minutes you can be chatting with someone that appeals to you, and even set up a date.
The dating revolution has reached a point where dating is no longer a tough, time consuming, hard job.
But then again with dating made so easy how can you be sure your mate is not using something like Tinder.