One of the principal axes of a relationship is fidelity. Things will never be the same again, when Fidelity is broken he/she is not faithful. Each case really depends on the people involved.  Be aware of the consequences.

Are we more and more unfaithful?

Some studies indicate that as a society we are ever more susceptible to being unfaithful, and this is especially true for women. However, for decades we thought women were more likely to not betray their partners.

According to research in the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey (1), published in the magazine The Atlantic; “40% more women have been unfaithful to their husbands, than they had in 1990”. However, men reporting having been unfaithful was constant at 21%.  The increase in women has reached 70% the level of men and is indicative of significant changes in the conditions that may be leading to the situation.

A sociologist argues that “the increased economic independence of the women resulting from higher incomes”, suggests they are better able to afront the potential consequences of getting caught.

Causes of Infidelity

Good communication will always be helpful in problem resolution. Up-front, open, and mature discussion of issues will defuse potential crisis in a marriage, and of course reduce the probability that the door to infidelity opens. While the greater the number of unresolved conflicts, results in a greater probability of going outside your marriage to look for something you do not have at home and be not faithful.

A survey conducted in the UK to over 5000 people and reported by Gary Karantzas in the magazine The Conversation (2), demonstrated that “84% of women reported lack of emotional intimacy with their mate”, as a motive to think of looking for it elsewhere. “75% of the women also stated that lack of communication with their partner” would move them to have an extra marital affair.

Monotony is another factor that would incline a woman to cheat. To awake and cook, take the kids to school, go to work and when return, find the same person at home that does not have time for intimacy or even catch their interest in conversation. This will motivate a woman to look for options that would be more exiting, than her boring life.

Middle Aged Women

Science Daily published research from the American Sociological Association (3); where middle-aged women (35-45) are “looking for more romantic passion including sex”, while not necessarily a divorce. Taking this even further they noted, “being happy in a marriage does not necessarily mean being happy in bed”.

In her book the sociologist Alicia Walker and in the article published in She Does The City (4); states that in her studies and surveys, women displayed great sadness; when in trying to improve and strengthen their relationships even suggested therapy for the husbands or the couple. However, because the usual uncaring or disinterested responses, they decide to look for an alternate mate to satisfy their sexual needs.

How to know if your partner is cheating?

Discovery of an infidelity can be complicated or simple; depending on how much you really investigate it, or how well is the situation hidden.  The rules of the game favor the one who cheats, as ever more these actions are well disguised. Occasionally there are signs, that things are not well nd so is she/he not faithful?. As we previously commented, communication that is frank, open, and rational, can be a baseline for the relationship. Following are some of the signs that we believe can be timely alerts for you if the pattern repeats itself.

Disloyal man walking with his girlfriend and looking amazed at another seductive girl

Visible Signs

Getting home with an air of a different perfume/cologne than that you use, or the hair out of place, a mark on the neck without apparent reason, and of course getting home straight to the shower.  These if repeated are strong signals that something´s up.

Woman texting or social networking on her smart phone in bed while her husband is sleeping

Change in Habits

After some time with you mate, you should probably know them relatively well. For example, you know their working hours, how often they check their cell, how they conduct their phone calls, whether he/she frequents friends of the opposite sex, as well as their individual social lives.  If any one or more of these changes, something is up and someone, either he/she is not faithful.

Stories do not Match

We can not sustain the same version of what happened, when we lied. When the subject comes up later, whether occasional or directed, there are variations or stumbles on the subject.

Gets Defensive

Explanations of any kind are usually given in a serene and relaxed tone. But if on the contrary, the response is defensive, or aggressive or looks to start an argument to divert the subject; can well mean they are hiding something.

Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home.

Change in Routine

Not only the change in habits can be a sign of infidelity, but changes in daily routines as well. Simple example is changing the exercise time, length, place. Other important change can be that of having new activities that you are not invited to participate. Little by little is straying from your life so perhaps he/she is not faithful.

Too Many Hours at Work

If this is sudden and different, it’s a yellow light, unless there are real circumstances that warrant it (New challenge, new project, etc.). Both men and women use this “excuse” to avoid having to explain where they were and just maybe he/she is not faithful.

Starts to Worry More about their Appearance

Notwithstanding women usually do care a great deal about their appearance, and many men as well, when this becomes unusual, or more notable, something could be up and just maybe he/she is not faithful.

These guidelines presented do not necessarily prove there is something amiss, but it is important to keep them in mind.  This especially if after some consideration, you feel that maybe, just maybe you are neglecting your loved one.