Curb infidelity

DID THE PANDEMIC CURB INFIDELITY?……..NO

The COVID 19 pandemic is an event no one expected. No one that is, except a very few and Bill Gates. He warned us but no one listened. We can see it in his video on “TED2015 video.

It Was Not the Same

Life appeared normal until and little by little, more and more alerts are activated. This was how couples, and families had to learn how to get along 24/7 inside the confines of their homes. Might sound wonderful for vacation time. But this imposition began to turn difficult.  Jobs were lost, fights broke out, and infidelities came to light. As written by Carter Sherman in Vice Magazine. The pandemic made it so the persons living together discovered how the people they live with, invest their time. Social relationships began to fracture, life was not the same.  It will never be the same after the great plague.

Was the Pandemic a Social Experiment for Love Relationships?

The situation appears to be a social experiment of bad taste. Before this pandemic stuff, couples thought of 24/7 with their other halves, as idyllic. They would be laughing together, watching series, sharing meals, and so on.  Having to do the 24/7 thing during this period, resulted much different than the fairy tale it sounded like. Reality came in as does a very cold shower in the morning. Their lifelong mate had attitudes and/or projects that really did not fit.  Some had to change their personalities and outlook on life. Stress, anxiety, and other most unpleasant emotions surfaced during the lock-down.

An AP News reprint of the AP Wire extrapolated data from six different surveys of a total of 9,923 “Ashley Madison” members. It found that “People don´t look to their partner in times of uncertainty and stress, they look outside their partner”.

LOOKING OUTSIDE

 Causes are varied but some that were disclosed: “married people report feelings of boredom (49%), isolation and loneliness (30%), frustration and anger (29%), worry and fear (24%) and anxiety and overwhelm (24%)”Certainly, far from Idyllic times.

Taking the findings further:”95% of members were still interested in finding and maintaining outside relationships near the beginning of the lockdown”. Cheaters have come to learn that having an affair during a pandemic is

  • Something to look forward to (34%),
  • A great distraction (23%), and
  • It means they have someone in a similar situation they can talk to (14%)”.

Social Distancing was good for Cheaters

Use of on-line Dating Applications increased significantly.  Despite the “confinement”, face to face dating from use of these apps., grew significantly. Of course, all of this with the use of sanitizers, avoidance of crowds etc.… “Social distancing” is easily adaptable to the needs of the “cheaters”. “Shortly after the lockdowns began, Ashley Madison, the world´s leading married dating site, began to see an up-stick in signups, signifying heightened interest in extramarital affairs”.

Divorce rates up during the Pandemic

So, what is the question? What were the real, measurable impacts on love relationships during the Pandemic?

Based on statistics published by Legal Templates; “divorce sales increased 34% during the COVID 19 Pandemic”. Stress, and other mental and emotional anguish brought on by the pandemic resulted in grave statistics. 20% of marriages in 2020 resulted in divorce that same year. 58% of couples looking for a divorce had been married 5 years or less. Even more disturbing is that the rate of people married 5 months of less almost doubled up to 20%, from only 11% in 2019.

YES DIVORCES WERE WAY UP

It should be no surprise that web sites like Ashley Madison who´s tagline or “Life´s short have an affair” reported 17,000 new users per day. Dean Takahashi said in his article published in VentureBeat on March 20, 2020; “the 9.6% increase in their membership, is astounding considering there was a Lockdown”.  Curiously none of those newcomers, worried about being exposed. Not even after 32 million members were hacked and exposed in 2015.

When you cheat, you either do not care, or can not not see, the consequences of getting caught.

Monotony Spurred memories of Times with Your Ex 

In addition to having to be a lot more time with your mate, many also had time to think of the past. Should you have done differently? What things do you miss? Are there things you are thankful for?

Suddenly you dream of your ex, and the next day or so you find yourself sending them a message. If it didn´t happen to you, maybe it did to your spouse. But it did happen to many. Evidenced by the enormous increase in google searches of the question; “why did I dream of my ex? As reported in “SCOOPWHOOP”, according to the research conducted by AGY47, the increase was an astounding 2450%.

MONOTONY AND DREAMING?

Pretty big increase in the question of the dream.  However, how many did get in touch with their ex……and why?

Any and all subjects are researched today by someone.  And as strange as it may seem, even this one has serious research behind it.

How Many Actually Contacted Ex-Lovers 

At least 1 in 5 participants in a survey, reached out to at least one ex. One in 4 stated they had heard from at least 1 ex.  And it wasn’t only singles that did so.  13% of the people in relationships did so also. Justin Lehmiller in “Sex and Psychology published these statistics on May 5, 2020.

The single most common reason was “to check on them”. But the underlying causes may vary. However, we get back to our underlying subject. Some people in committed relationships stated, “they were looking for a hook-up or to rekindle a past flame”. To put it simply, they were thinking of infidelity.

Isn´t it frightening how not even a global pandemic can curb nor stop infidelity?